International Parenting Situation - What Would You Do?

As many of you know, I do not know much German, and even less of the local Swiss-German dialect. This presents numerous challenges, particularly when I'm surrounded mainly by local children, who know mainly the local dialect, little standard German and only a few English phrases from popular music and video games. I have frequently found myself as the only adult among a clutch of children because the city is so safe and the local kids are perfectly safe and content being out on their own. This, however, present some interesting international parenting dilemmas for me. I'll give you a couple of examples -- see how you would have handled them.

Scenario 1. About a week and half after we arrived, the boys and I were at the local elementary school at the end of our block. We were part of a fun and spirited football (soccer) match with a group of kids ranging from 7 to 10 years old (Elliot mainly watched, but was allowed to play and given some easy goals out of the graciousness of older boys and another parent). After the game broke up, we were walking toward our house and stumbled across a really cool part of the local playground - a 4 x 2 foot trampoline that is built into the ground. Isaac and Elliot were bouncing and then Elliot wanted a turn by himself because, when he is on with another child, he gets bounced around really badly. Isaac was gracious (after some coaxing) and gave Elliot some space.

However, a local boy named Luca realized that Elliot really wanted to bounce alone and found great delight in not allowing him to do so. So, every time Elliot tried to get on the trampoline, Luca jumped on, even as Elliot was melting down and crying fiercely (it was really close to bedtime for Elliot and he was tired). Finally we just had to walk home and I promised Elliot we would get up tomorrow and come back when Luca wasn't around. Luca is small for his age, of Brazillian decent, and a bit impish in his nature - I'm guessing he has gotten his share of razzing in school and was looking to give some out himself. I gave the old 'why is he a bully' explanation, i.e., kids who bully usually don't feel good about themselves and the only time they can feel like they have power themselves is when they bully others. But, none the less, Elliot cried all the way home. If I knew the language, I probably could have talked to Luca and swayed him to relent after a few times, but no way that was going to work without knowledge of the local language.

Scenario 2. Isaac rides the city bus for 3 bus stops between our house and school by himself most days. I was waiting for Isaac to come home for lunch from school today at the local city bus stop. As the bus pulled up, Isaac and Da'Rion and Roberto -- 2 boys from his room (a special room for non-German speakers who are receiving intensive German lessons) -- piled off the bus yelling while another boy, about their size, but not from their room (a native Swiss boy I presume) also jumped off and started pushing Roberto. Da'Rion was shouting that this boy had broken his umbrella, while Isaac was showing me his knee, which he said had been bloodied by this boy prior to them all getting on the city bus.

The local boy push Roberto once more and I said sternly 'Nein'. Both boys stopped temporarily, but then the local boy went after Roberto once again. The scuttle continued for another 25 seconds, a bit of a stalemate, with Roberto not giving up much ground. It began to occur to Issac, Da'Rion and Roberto that it might be better if they joined forces. This thought must have occurred to the local boy as well, because he then high-tailed it for home, which is in an apartment building about a block from our house. The boys then began concocting ideas about how to ambush the local child, to which I said that this would not solve much and was not an appropriate response.

From Isaac's discussion over lunch, it seems the whole brew-ha-ha started back at recess, with the local boy gaining one of Da'Rion's shoes that he had lost while climbing on some playground equipment and throwing. One of more of the Isaac's group then threw a soccer ball at the local boy. Then at the bus stop prior to boarding the bus, the local boy broke Da'Rion's umbrella, Isaac called him a bully, to which the local boy responded by pushing Isaac to the ground and skinning his knee.

We all decided that we would talk to Isaac's teacher, as Auslanders (foreigners) are often the first choice of local bullies, and to try to avoid this boy if at all possible. If it persists, we would then try to engage the bully's parents.

So the big question for me was - should I have broken up the fight at the bus stop given my child was not involved and I only slightly knew one of the children. Again, language here would have been helpful.

I'm sure I'll have more difficult decision as the year unfolds.

Along the Rhein river

We are mellowing out on a Sunday morning after a 20 km bike ride yesterday along the Rhein from Schaffhausen to Stein Am Rhein. Along the way, we were surprised that we actually crossed into Germany for a little bit -- the boys were excited to be in Omi's home country and both said that they wanted to ride all the way to Gunzenhausen (Omi's home town -- we hope to visit there soon)! Stein Am Rhein is a classic, pictureque little town. During our brief visit the boys found a place to play in the sand along the Rhein.











Before we left the Hauptbahnhof in Zurich we encountered a "cheese rolling" contest -- those big round things that they are pushing are big rounds of cheese and they were VERY heavy! On the train ride back to Zurich, Omi and Isaac worked on their star wars-inspired play about good and evil; Elliot watched the scene out the train window.

Back to school...

Isaac just had his first day today in his school -- he is in a small class with about 10 other international students who don't know German. The focus of the class is to learn German, along with math, so that's how he'll spend the next six+ months. They also have a few other fun subjects, like swimming every Monday, gymnastics every Thursday and shop (i.e., woodworking and other stuff) twice a week. Once he becomes proficient in German, then he'll get integrated into a "regular" class. It was a pretty tough day for him and will probably be for the next few weeks as he adjusts -- for example figuring out the unfamiliar games they play at recess was frustrating for him today. The students in his class are from all over -- Columbia, Tibet, Portugal, South Korea, Guatamala. There is one other American -- a boy Isaac's age whose stepmom is Swiss and dad is American.

Elliot will have his first day of kindergarten tomorrow -- he'll be in a regular kindergarten (which is equivalent to our preschool basically) and will probably mostly learn swiss german. We went by today and he played with the largest set of legos I've ever seen; after about 15 minutes he declared it to be very fun. His teacher Frau Frischknecht is very nice. At first he only wanted to hide in my lap; by the end of our visit, though, he was playing on his own and let his teacher take him by the hand and show him around. He gets to wear a big organge badge (sortof what the school safety patrols used to wear and maybe still do) on his walk to and from school everyday and they encourage us to let him walk on his own once he gets used to everything and knows his way around. He is very proud of it. Tomorrow probably won't be an easy day for him, but having fun things to play with will certainly help.

The weather is just bizarre here -- cold for the most part except when it's not, which is to say that it is very changeable! I've worn shorts maybe three times since we've been here. We have had several multi-day bouts of cold and rain. Last week there was apparently so much rain that some places were having record flooding and trains were being rerouted. The week before mom and I unwittingly ventured out into a record downpour in a valiant effort to attend an organ concert at the Grossmunster Kirche. Instead of hearing organ music, however, we took the tram in the wrong direction and by the time we waded through the Altstadt to the church we were too late (disappointing, but a nice glass of red wine at a nearby Italian cafe gave us solace). I'd love a stretch of hot and humid (it should be noted that Brian thinks the temperature is just perfect).

Elliot's Ohio Song

Elliot spontaneously made up a song about Ohio after about five days of being here. Click on the play button below to view...

Pictures: Zermatt and the Alps

I am adding these pictures belatedly from our visit to Zermatt (home of the Matterhorn), which we took the week before the boys' schools started.

We planned the trip at the last minute and were able to get a pretty good "all in one" package deal through the Swiss railway, which has an extensive travel and tourist office. We stayed at an extra fancy hotel (The Ginabelle) with a Halb Pension (meaning breakfast and dinner included) and ate way too much good food there in their fancy diningroom.

The Matterhorn, which we could see clearly from our hotel balcony, is the second highest peak of the Swiss Alps. (below: by daylight from our balcony; by the early morning light; from the hike up to Rot Horn).

We spent one full day hiking in the Alps. We took the tram up the mountain partway and then hiked up to Rot Horn. About halfway up we encountered playground (!), complete with swingset and chess set, and played there for quite awhile. Omi and Elliot encountered some goats that seemed to find the wall of a nearby Gasthaus very yummy.

At the top of Rot Horn the boys built a big circular structure out of rocks while Omi and I did the "adventure hike" from the playground to Rot Horn. It was just the right amount of adventure for us, but paled in comparison to the crazy mountain bikers that we encountered coming DOWN the steep mountain path that we were hiking up. Other pictures: Omi with a snowball; Brian on the hike down the mountain; Apline horn players performing in Zermatt; old slate roofs that are common; the multiple forms of transit in Zermatt, which is auto-free (but they have these very cool, very small taxis and hotel buses that zoom around).

Pictures: Schloss Kyberg and Isaac's birthday

Isaac's birthday was our fourth day in Switzerland. We took up a suggestion from Peter Schaeffer, (an ag economist from WVU who did a sabbatical here a few years ago with ETH and in fact lived in the same apartment building with his family) and made a day out of going to Castle Kyberg (built in 1570) and had our first hike from the castle back to a small village where we caught the bus. Thank you Peter for a great suggestion! Pictures: The castle (featuring Isaac's arm in the foreground); an impressive collection of all kinds of armor; the sword collection (the small dagger dates back to 1100's); Elena contemplates the "iron maiden" (a purported torture instrument that sliced the body with blades, but historians now think it's a hoax that originated in the 1850s); Elliot the knight to the rescue.

After the castle visit we hiked through the small village next to the castle and across the countryside in search of a secret ice cream cafe that Elena had read about in a secret message inscribed behind a secret door in the castle (i.e., incentive for hiking), which we found a few kilometers later in another nearby village.












Above: more fresh water from the Swiss fountains, but this time the boys use it for more than just drinking.

After the hike we came home and celebrated the birthday some more with a Schwartzwaelde Torte and opening presents. Thank you Grandma and Papa and Sally and family for the cards and gifts!

Pictures: Zurich and the lake

These pictures are from our first excursion to downtown Zurich -- we took the bus to Oerlikon, a tram to the Hauptbahnhof (main train station) and then walked down Bahnhofstrasse to the lake. Along the way we encountered an enormous toy store (Elliot's keen sense of "fun things to buy" detected it) that had every toy imaginable, including a working Formula 1 toy race track.





After a crowded walk down Bahnhoffstrasse, it was nice to sit and watch the boats on the lake (and of course have a bratwurst and brot as well). The lake is huge and beautiful. We haven't yet gone out on a boat, but will soon (perhaps with our next visitors, whomever they may be!).

The blurry picture is of Isaac drinking from a public water spout -- they are ALL OVER Zurich and Switzerland and the water is wonderful for drinking -- no need for bottled water (a small, but important savings in this high cost region).

Pictures: around town

Around town: walking down from our apartment to the small town center of Affoltern, where we go for grocery shopping and a visit to the Backerei; the boys play soccer on a nearby field; Elena with a full shopping cart (which she and Omi pushed back up the hill -- we quickly learned that taking our luggage with roller wheels works much better); Isaac doing his best ninja pose at the Hauptbahnhof (main train station) in downtown Zurich; Omi and the boys waiting for the bus to go downtown; Elliot sitting on a concrete ball in the nearby city of Oerlikon.